Dear Mor So sorry to hear about your piles, it must be agony having a bunch of grapes hanging out of your arse. Don’t you think it’s time you went and got them surgically removed? I must tell you this. The other day I was in the kitchen preparing dinner and suddenly needed a wee. You know what I’m like with my bladder nowadays, when I need to go I need to go!! Anyway, nipped into the loo and blimey I was desperate. You know what it’s like when you can get your knickers down quick enough and then I collapsed on the toilet just in time. But then I hit the roof. Those lazy bloody bastards in this house can’t even manage to put a new toilet roll on the holder and someone had left just one bloody sheet flapping away on the roll. Honestly Mor, is it that bloody difficult to put a new roll on? I don’t ask for much but as I was already on the loo and flowing like Niagara bleeding Falls before I realised. I really saw red. So, I snatched the one sodding square and tried to mop up as best I could. And then it started. First of all, a warmth started down below, and it kept getting warmer and warmer. It really started to burn, and I couldn’t understand why – I’d only been for a wee. It got so bloody hot I had to go and wash it!! Then it dawned on me – I’d been in the kitchen chopping onions and chilli peppers and when I looked on the packet the bloody Twat in the Hat had only bought Red sodding Hot Chilli Peppers. Fucking hell Mor, talk about the burning bush – I was on fire. I could have done with a couple of firefighters and their hoses to put the flames out. Lesson here has to be wash your hands before having a wee as well as after!! Anyway love, have to go cos I need to wee again. Lots of Love Myf xxx
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Myf & MorTwo mature ladies (using that word loosely) growing old disgracefully and finally realising that the "F**k It" attitude is probably the best one to have. Archives
September 2019
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